The Story - Chapter 20

A little “inside baseball” about my process for writing these blogs: As I read each chapter, I try to stay attuned to anything the Holy Spirit lifts up to me. I mark those moments and then revisit them a few more times, listening for any spark of where the Spirit might be leading. This week, I marked this passage—on page 279 of The Story, from Esther 2:20.

I found it interesting—and a bit surprising, if I may be so bold—that I identified with Esther hiding her true self, “her family background and nationality,” as the scripture references.  

Why did I connect with this? I thought I had gotten over my hang-ups about being a “Yankee pastor” (as a previous parishioner lovingly called me) serving, living, and raising my family south of the Mason-Dixon Line. In fact, I found this journey of coming to grips with my “family background and nationality” so important that I included it as part of my ordination paperwork.  

Yet, as I reflect on where I am now, I still long for home.  

Why do I long for home? After we moved from Benton to Jacksonville a few months ago, we reminded Cate and Molly (and ourselves!) time and again that home is not a building but wherever the four of us are together. And that is true, in a sense—just as the church isn’t the “building…or the steeple” but a people, home is where those you consider family reside. But if home were only that, I would be content with our current situation. Deep down, though, we know that the concept of home is more than just the people we love.  

As I wrestled with what my spirit was struggling with, I did what most good 21st-century theologians would do: I “Googled” to see where the wisdom of the internet would lead me!

My search led me to an unexpected place—a writing about Esther and Mordecai by a Reform Jewish rabbi living in Miami, FL. And it wasn’t just any rabbi—it was Rabbi Rachel Greengrass, a former elementary and middle school classmate of mine growing up in Fort Wayne!

Here’s Rachel’s writing about Esther and Mordecai from ritualwell website:

I find it fascinating that Rachel—a rabbi serving in a state south of our great Hoosier state—wrote about “loneliness, from the fear of a life that will ever be the same” when reflecting on Esther.  

As I read Rachel’s writing and pondered our shared experience, I found comfort. In my moments of fearfulness and searching for home, God sends Esther(s) and Mordecai(s)—people who come and save me from loneliness, from the fear of a life that will never be the same.  

I have encountered so many in our church and in my adopted state who have filled the role of Esther and Mordecai, whose who have saved me in moments of discouragement and homesickness—who point me back to my true home with Jesus. He reminds me that there will be times when I have no place to call home other than in and with Him. Thank you for your faithfulness and friendship!

If you are reading this today and are feeling homesick, longing for a home you can’t quite find, I hope this blog allows me to be your Esther or Mordecai and encourage you: wherever you are, you can always rest in Christ.

Turn to Him, and you will find the home you’ve been searching for.

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Thank you to those who have followed along with this blog through the first 20 chapters of The Story! As we enter the season of Lent, the blog will change slightly. In this space, I will highlight specific passages within each chapter of The Story for you to read, followed by reflection questions to guide your journey with Jesus to His cross. I pray for all of us as we join in this Lenten prayer as a church: Jesus, keep me near the cross!